When I am not feeling well or have a lot on my mind, I tend to withdraw from those around me. Well as much as I can, given there are things you absolutely cannot avoid. So over the past week I have had some down time when duty wasn't calling to reflect and think about things. Mainly family, friends, my job.....
My family......yes, I've blogged a little about them. I love them...... I have been so blessed to have the wonderful family I have. However, all families have their ups and downs. Those usually come into play when your family is in crisis. This one is doing too much, that one is not doing enough....and so on. You have to understand something about my family. Besides being big and from the south, sometimes I think we are our own worse enemy. My parents have always for as long as I can remember helped others. They took in foster children over the years, and family members as well. They made sure no child ever did without something. I even remember when Disney World opened in Orlando when I was 7 years old. They loaded as many kids as they could in our station wagon, and off we went to see what it was all about. They loaned money, and never asked for things in return. My mom has always been the one to care for others. Staying awake to sit with the sick or in hospitals to allow family members to take a break and get some sleep or take a shower or get something to eat. So of course you can undertand mine and my older brother's frustration when our parents were in the accident, and family that lived close by did not come to visit, offer to sit with them, or ask if they could make them dinner. One of my mom's sisters who lives in Georgia called immediately....as did her daughter. One of my other cousins stayed in touch through text. All of them lived out of the immediate area. The one aunt who called immediately has stayed in constant contact with my parents. God Bless her........ We just found it disheartening that so many people that my parents helped could not step up and help. Don't get me wrong. We didn't expect everyone to alter their lives for my parents, but come on people............ See my family will not waste time cramming christianity, and the church down your throat, but it's a lot more than talking the talk. You have to walk the walk. This is why I myself avoid organized religion, and quite frankly hypocrites. Family should never have to be reminded to call their family members on any given day, whether they're is a crisis or not. It has also been my experience with my family that they don't step up when you really need them, but when there is death or these crisis situations, they will cry their eyeballs out like it's the end of the world. Okay..... I am probably offending A LOT of people right about now. Well, I said from the get go that I would hold nothing back. If you're skin is a little tender........welcome to my world. Obviously I have been referring to my extended family. BUTTTTT.............there is always a "but", this time if poured over into my immediate family. Namely one brother........ He followed me up to the hospital the day my parents were in the accident. He came in tow with his estranged wife....... who he is divorcing, and some of their children. They stayed for maybe 10 minutes and left. My brother did not go to my parent's home again. He didn't call... I think my other brother spoke to him, but my dad called him, and he NEVER returned his call. Disturbing?? Why yes it was.... Especially when I see that his oldest son had posted that he was going with his dad to the Roundup to pick up girls.......then to a strip club on his Facebook wall. Here my son had been in the hospital for 5 days......my parents were home, but needing help. I would take breaks from the hospital to go see my mom and dad, and my brother was going out to bars and strip clubs.......... I was pissed! When I talked to my brother I gave him hell. He proceeded to tell me that he I know...........but I love them. Oh......and he took time to go out with his soon to be ex-inlaws, get drunk and call me to complain when they stepped on his toes. I went off on him again. I had RSVP'd for a flashback party for my high school alumni weeks before my parent's accident, and my Ryan's hospital stay. I had paid for it, was looking forward to it, and after things happened, had no intentions of going. But my mom, my older brother, and my son encouraged me to go. I ended up going...... But felt guilty the whole time. It just didn't feel right. Like I had no business being there. So, I was upset with my brother. I mean, if you're that busy......at least pick up the phone and call mom and dad. A phone call will say, I'm checking on you, I love you......... This past week when I was sick and afraid to go around them because they are already to frail, and I didn't want to give them a flu bug or virus...... I called them everyday. I always let them know even though I was under the weather, if they needed me I would be there. Then when I was feeling better, I went down to their house and brought pizza.....my dad love's pizza...... Ryan and I visited with them that evening, and again on Saturday. I don't know how long I will have them....God has spared them now. But we never know what our life holds one second from now, much less what the future holds. My rant on my brother actually got a fire started under his butt. He called them, and visited with them two nights last week. My older brother's rant on the some extended family members and church people got the fire started under some of their butts too....... I will be the first to admit I don't deal with hospitals and death well at all. I am open and honest about it. I don't feed into all the drama....... I will always offer my assistance, I will be there if I am asked, but in the middle of too many chiefs is not where I belong. However, when it comes to my parents..... I will be there all I can. Not to overlook the rest of the my siblings.... My older sister and brother inlaw, and my oldest brother have been busy taking care of things for my parents in Georgia...... They have property there that have to be taken care of, and they doing more than their part. My other younger brother does call and visit. I think things will now change for the other younger brother too now. I thanked him and told him I was proud of him for making the time. Of course my other older brother who has been here for not only mom and dad, but Ryan and me too has been our rock. Yes....... it's a family thing, and I love 'em. Stay tuned for my thoughts on friends.........
Peace!
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