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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Go back to the's where it all started

I have blogged a lot about my relationships, love, and all kinds of craziness.  But it wasn't until recently when I was talking to a very dear friend who is having marital problems, that my mind started swirling about the whole love thing.

This friend has been married several years.  By all appearances, they had a good marriage.  Other than a few squabbles here and there, these two love each other and you know it.  So for her to tell me that their marriage was in trouble, I was shocked.  I know that they are trying counseling and she is in the fight for her life where her marriage is concerned.  When I asked her recently how things were going she said, they are better, just going slow.  She said it's like starting all over again......the getting to know each other, etc.  I asked if that was a bad thing and she said no, it's like they are best friends.

So I started thinking...  If you truly love someone and the relationship ends without reason, can it be saved?  Can you go back to the roots of your relationship and start over?  Fall in love all over again?  I think so.....  Break-ups are the easy way out.  Divorces are more accessible and people literally give up too fast.  I believe in love.  True love is worth fighting for.  Even if it means going back to the beginning.  If you start to go different directions, go back to where it all began.  Take the time to re-examine the little things.  The silly new love stuff.  The awkwardness, goofy things.....  The long looks, the first kisses, the first time you made love.  Become friends.  The moments that took your breath away.

I think my whole approach has been wrong....imagine that!  I am sure this is not the last that you will hear from me on this.  It's on my mind these days.  ;-)


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Juggling this and Juggling that.......

So the new blog is up and going.....  It's doing well.  I love writing about my experiences with my child.  I am also actively seeking steady employment.  It's been rough! 

I'm not proud to say it, but I finally hit rock bottom.  I mean, I really bottomed out!  A bring me to my knees with hysteria.  I haven't been that low since I lost my grandma over 10 years ago.  After it was all said and done on Friday, I had a lot of repenting to do.  I was very embarassed and actually afraid to pray.  I thought, how on earth can God forgive me for this breakdown.  I felt like such a failure and wanted to blame someone other than taking responsibility for myself.  I knew I was at that point that if I allowed myself to cry I would never stop.  I was right on target there.  I scared my child and I scared myself.  I knew I had to pray.  I did......and a guardian angel here on earth came to the rescue for Ryan and myself.  I am truly blessed.  Keeping the faith is key.  Never doubting that the Lord will fail me.

I am back on top, and I'm feeling better emotionally.  I feel like I have been all over the place with my writing here.  But it has been so therapeutic for me.  I love to write, and as I've said's all about ME!  It's the only place I can be real.  I don't have to worry about offending others or stepping on toes.  This is about me and only me.  As it's said.....I'm just sayin'.

At the end of this day, life is good!