So the new blog is up and going..... It's doing well. I love writing about my experiences with my child. I am also actively seeking steady employment. It's been rough!
I'm not proud to say it, but I finally hit rock bottom. I mean, I really bottomed out! A bring me to my knees with hysteria. I haven't been that low since I lost my grandma over 10 years ago. After it was all said and done on Friday, I had a lot of repenting to do. I was very embarassed and actually afraid to pray. I thought, how on earth can God forgive me for this breakdown. I felt like such a failure and wanted to blame someone other than taking responsibility for myself. I knew I was at that point that if I allowed myself to cry I would never stop. I was right on target there. I scared my child and I scared myself. I knew I had to pray. I did......and a guardian angel here on earth came to the rescue for Ryan and myself. I am truly blessed. Keeping the faith is key. Never doubting that the Lord will fail me.
I am back on top, and I'm feeling better emotionally. I feel like I have been all over the place with my writing here. But it has been so therapeutic for me. I love to write, and as I've said before......it's all about ME! It's the only place I can be real. I don't have to worry about offending others or stepping on toes. This is about me and only me. As it's said.....I'm just sayin'.
At the end of this day, life is good!