I've been asked many times how I do it. How I can be so positive, and strong when it seems everything is falling apart around me. I told a very dear friend recently that, I kick and scream a lot......I cry and throw things sometimes...... But most of all I pray a lot! I put my faith in God, and know that he is never going to fail me. Then this morning I received a phone call from one of my best friends. She and I met almost 20 years ago in college. I had just wrapped up my last divorce, and she was in the middle of her divorce. She and I were back in college rehabilitating ourselves so that we could get good jobs and take care of our children. I had my Ryan, and she had two daughters; one a little older that Ryan and one a little younger. Over the years we have leaned on each other in dealing with parenting/children issues, boyfriend issues, and job issues. I had not heard from her for a couple of weeks, and had spoken with her daughter last week, and found out she was in her native country-Italy. She had recently lost a sister who had been sick for some time, and she had been upset that she had not got to go back home to see her before she passed away. Then apparently she got a call that another one of her sisters got sick, and she and her sister who lives here went back home. This morning she told me this sister had passed away as well. She had lost 2 sisters within 21 days of each other. As I listened to her talk, I thought this woman is strong too. She has been single for almost as long as I have, and raised two wonderful daughters, and now is helping raise her grandson. She has had ups and downs and struggled with her job, and she still has a positive attitude. My heart still goes out to her.
So after talking for a little while, and hanging up the phone, I thought......... I am very blessed....... My parent's accident could have been worse, but it wasn't. I still have them with me. I weathered a storm with my Ryan, and it could have been a lot worse too, but it wasn't. I have amazing friends and family. I have had my moments over the past couple of weeks...... I have sat on the floor in the middle of my hallway, and sobbed until I thought I could not shed another tear. To the point of exhaustion. Life is so precious, and more time than not we take it for granted. I try to surround myself with positive people. Happy, upbeat people who keep me that way.
I do think I am a strong and positive woman. I try to inspire because you never know when you're going to touch that one person's life, and make a difference. I know that I have hit some real low's. I have done things I am not proud of, but I can't go back and change things. I don't even know if I would want to change them. The choices I have made, and the experiences I have gone through have molded me into the woman I am today. I will forever look for the good in something bad. I believe everything happens for a reason. And, on any given day what we are experiencing is just a prelude to what lies ahead for us. When I look back over my life, I can think of people who have said something or done something to me or for me that made a lasting impression. I want to be that person to leave good impressions on people, so that when they look back they can say, I remember her and what she said, and how much it helped me. I encourage people to do what is right. Take the high road when you have to, but also stand for what you believe in. Make a difference.