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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Part I - My father......

I am taking this day to pay tribute to two very special men.  When I was less than a year old, two very different men made a decision that would impact not only their lives, but mine as well.  One made the decision to give me up, and one made the decision to adopt me.

I was probably around 6 or 7 months old when my birth mother abandoned me.  She left me in the care of my father, who was a long distance bus driver.  I was left with a sitter for extended periods of time.  When approached by my parents about giving me up, he told them he would have to speak to my birth mother to see if she would agree, and sign the papers.  She did and the rest should be history, right?  

My parents had three biological children 1 daughter and 2 sons.  They wanted another daughter.  When the opportunity presented itself they took the opportunity to seize the day, and me along with it.....  And while I settled into the life in a secure home with a mommy and a daddy, my biological 1/2 siblings were not as fortunate.  If any of them ever read this, they may find it hard to understand what I am about to say.  But I hope they will try to see it from my perspective.  I have a great respect and admiration for this man who was able to give up his rights to his child in order for her to have a home with two parents and security.  For the most part people are selfish and don't want to share.  Women get pregnant and either choose to abort the pregnancy, or keep the child even when they know they do not have the resouces or support to help give that child what they need.  I think with men a lot of the times it's pride, plain and simple.  It's when those parents can look beyond their needs, and say "hey" my child needs a good home, and I won't keep them from having it, that your goes out to them.  I got to meet my biological father when I was 16.  He has since passed away.  I remember the first time I spoke with him on the phone before our meeting.  He told me that he would never intrude on my life.  He knew that I had a dad that he could not replace.  He told me that he would like to be my friend.  He said if I chose to contact him and have a relationship with him, that he would be there for me.  My mom and dad took me to meet him at a pizza place for dinner.  I know.....I know......  I was 16, and they let me choose the place.....LOL   I remember sitting at a booth with him sitting on the side with me and we were facing my mom and dad.  I sat there with a napkin in my hand twisting the paper over and over until it was barely there.  I looked across at my dad.....  He was doing the same thing.  My mom didn't seem nervous at all.  It was at that moment that it hit me.  I may have been a teenager, but I could see that my dad felt threatened.  It wasn't a birth mother sitting there with us, but a birth father.  The man who brought me into this world.  The man who was my daddy first.........  I wanted to be a little girl again.....crawling under the table to get to the other side and climbing up in my daddy's lap so that he could protect me.  I cannot even imagine what he must have been thinking or feeling at that night.  All I know is the man sitting across the table from me was my daddy and still is to this day.  I maintained a friendship with my biological father up until a year or so before his death.  I am glad that I got to meet him, and that I had wonderful parents who felt secure enough to support me through it all.  

I will devote another blog later to my adoption, and where I am on that today.  But for now......  Read Part II - My daddy......      

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