I have a theory....... As I was lying in bed last night......unable to sleep because of this miserable cold I have...... I was thinking. Are we all natural born competitors? I mean we all like to win. So is life just one big competition? Even in relationships. With him, I feel like he has always had to have the upper hand. He has always had to be the one who knows everything. However, I have learned that you could have every college degree out there, and still be lacking common sense. So, with him....... I love him, but I also know that if I let go, he will come back. He always does. But in my thought process last night, I got to thinking maybe this has become a competition for me. I go on this mission to show I can manipulate him, and get him to come back. I have not failed yet, although it has gotten harder. It's like I want to show him, show him that he will come back. Kind of that na na na na boo boo thing. Only thing is........I can't say na na na na boo boo to him...... So if I could get to that point I might be able to walk away....... Does this thought process sound crazy? Maybe.......but, I think it's valid. It's all about satisfaction. If he decides to read this.......I'm screwed, but really....... I think I am right about this ;-)
Peace!
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